II Timothy 2:2: “and what you have heard from me in the presence of many witnesses entrust to faithful men (and women) who will be able to teach others also”
As Jim and I were out hitting yesterday on the tennis court, I remembered the early days of when we first began playing. I smiled and couldn’t help but thank God. We have come a long way since then.
It also dawned on me, my experience of training to play tennis mirrors in many ways mentoring. Can you think of something you didn’t know how to do but now you can perform without thinking? How did you become so competent? Take even something like learning to drive a car, there are life lessons everywhere that we in turn give to others. Mentoring is in nearly every level of life.
- Beginnings: When we first started playing tennis I couldn’t hardly keep up with Jim. Why? Because Jim had lots of Patience, or a lack thereof? Or I was so insecure, and intimidated, and competitive (yes, competitive!)? I didn’t feel I could ever match up to him. He was too good for me! And he had a hard time lowering his game. It appeared I was defeated before I started. In Jim’s wisdom he would get others to come in to help me with my form and practice with me. People who didn’t intimate me. This was a kind of wisdom on Jim’s part that I didn’t appreciate at the time, but looking back I’m amazed.
As we mentor others we want to walk the journey with them in such a way to make people “feel” we are right beside them. Lots of patience, love and encouragement is needed! We all start somewhere and need others to help us along with the fundamentals of the Christian disciplines (refer to “Spiritual Disciples for the Christian Life” by Donald S. Whitney). It often takes a community and should be a community effort. One person does not have it all to give but collectively we are the body of Jesus (1 Corinthians 12). We need each other. And that person you are doing your best to pour into needs more than just one member of the body. Allow for reinforcements.
- Playing Together: I still needed lots of reassurance, and Jim grew in patience. He learned to keep the ball coming right to me as I worked on the basics. His love made me work harder. His passion to play tennis made him willing to play with anyone, just because he can enjoy the sport. Fortunately for me!
As we intentionally reach out to people we want to walk in such a way that they feel hope. Hope comes from loving and accepting people right where they are. This might mean some adjustments on our part to, in order to model joy and love before them, and seeking ways to connect. And as we mentioned already, having others reaching out to them, not just yourself, is huge.
- Playing with Others: After a while my game improved. I was even inspired to branch out and play with other ladies. I thought I was a good player until I had to hit with people who didn’t just keep the ball coming right to me. But I knew I could come back and be with Jim to continue to work on areas I was falling short. I knew he would be there to walk with me as I encountered these new areas of tennis.
As we continue along with others we want to walk in such a way that they will desire to pass it on to others as well, knowing that we are there applauding, guiding, and supporting them. They don’t have to have it all together but they do need to know that they have something to offer, and that they are not alone (I Corinthians 12, Titus 2:3-5, and II Timothy 2:2).
- Being Stretched: Next I grew out of Jim just hitting the ball directly to me. He began to make me run. However, if he got “too good” I would get overwhelmed and discouraged and wanted to quit, feeling I would never get to where I thought I needed to be. Jim, at those moments, wisely pulled back. Because of Jim’s patience and love for me I would soon be drawn back in and my confidence grew.
We are to walk in such a way with our mentee’s that we are not letting them stay where they are but pushing them to the next level, making sure we boost them when they get dismayed. Our job is to continue to show them where and how God is working in their lives, so that they can always see Him as they push forward. Neither we nor they are perfect and we all need to be reminded that this is a journey and that we are on it together. This is a community effort, a community journey.
- Growing My Mental Game. It is frequently said, “Tennis is played and won between the ears.” It took my mental game longer to come around but the more my physical game improved, the more my self-assurance rose. And the more my confidence rose, the more my mental game rose.
Our mentees need to be growing in all areas of their lives: spiritually, mentally, physically and emotionally. We must be teaching them to walk according to the commands of Jesus by modeling our own obedience and submission to them (Matthew 28:18-20). As we renew our minds by the Word of God and seek to be doers of it, we are transformed from one degree of glory to another: like a caterpillar is changed into a butterfly (Romans 12:1-2, James 1: 22-25). If we aren’t pushing in and being impacted, then neither will they, remembering also that our bodies are the temple of the Lord (I Corinthians 6:19-20, and I Timothy 4:7-10).
- Not Falling Apart: Jim still needs to hold back some on his game but he is now able to up mine, pushing me without me falling apart on him. Sometimes, I can even challenge him. We often have the best conversations too, on the tennis court, in between games. Tennis has been a major contributing factor to the health and connectivity in our marriage.
As disciples of Jesus, we must walk in such a way with others to become their companion, as Jesus is our friend and King, and considering how we might encourage them as we see his return approaching (Hebrew 10:24, 25). We are simply seeking to become more like Christ and striving to love others, and all of this in a reproductive manner (II Timothy 2:2). We must always remember that what God has begun he will finish (Phil. 1:6).
I picked tennis as my sport to watch with Jim on TV. We work our vacations around one or two of the top grand slams and love just sitting side by side with each other watching. I was so blessed recently to hear Jim say: “I am so glad you enjoy playing tennis”. We’ve worked hard to know each other. To hear him affirm our friendship on the tennis court touched me deeply.
Am I as good as Jim in playing tennis? No! Will I ever be? Maybe, but probably not; though I do beat him in his own game on rare occasions, and he is forever increasing mine. I am thankful to have a partner who loves me, who can play tennis with me and who journeys with me through life.
We have others, as well, who come along side and enjoy the journey together with us. It has never been about the “I” but about the one another’s. We are committed to the process and though the path isn’t always easy, we’re not supposed to do it alone. In walking together in community through the good and the bad, allow’s those life lessons to become bigger than ourselves and makes it worth it all (Refer to: “Spiritual Mentoring for Spiritual Growth: Sharing the Journey of Faith” by Tony HorsFall”).
Personal Reflections: Do you have a sport or habit you do “together” with your spouse, family or best friend? What life lessons can you draw out from your time together? Who are you walking with or who is trodding with you through life’s journey to become more like Jesus? Any thoughts about what was said today? Would love to hear one of your stories in the comment section of the blog.
From one woman pilgrim to another, journeying together,
“And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds…encouraging one another–and all the more as you see the Day approaching.” Hebrews 10:24-25 (NIV)
“Together empowering a movement of mission minded women on their journey of their calling, so that they may feel valued, significant, purposeful, and confident in making a difference for God’s Kingdom in all season’s of life, one story at a time.”
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