Job 23:10, “But he knows the way that I take; when he has tried me, I shall come out as gold”
Do you ever get discouraged when you keep making the same mistakes over and over and you just can’t, “ahh” , “be perfect”? Do you ever wonder if something is wrong with you?
When I was in college I thought: “Why am I having all these insecurities still? Why don’t I have it all together? Why am I having all these silly emotions and why aren’t I able to control all my emotions faster than I am? I am saved. I love Jesus. Maybe I don’t love Jesus as much as I think I do. Shouldn’t I be moving towards being able to fight these emotions off?
Maybe I have sinned and I need to make it right, or maybe something isn’t just right with me. Maybe God can’t love me as much as He can love someone else. Maybe I need to do more, or learn more, then I’ll be good enough.”
Do you ever have these kinds of conversations with yourself? I did. I still talk to myself with questions and emotions I often don’t understand. I still haven’t arrived but I am a lot further along than I was in college. God’s Word gives me God’s Truth about who I truly am and gives me guidance on which directions to take in the midst of my turbulence.
The first time exposure to Job 23:10 (written above) was in college. When I read it my heart leapt:
“He knows the way I am taking? God knows me? God understands all that I am feeling? Wow! He does, and it is not until he has tried me that I will come forth as Gold?” I questioned as I read this verse.
“Oh I understand now, I just can’t go from A to Z over night. So why am I so hard on myself anyway? He loves me all the same!”
God says: “You have to be tried and grow in maturity first.” This takes time. Physically, I didn’t grow up overnight , so why should I think I would spiritually? Life is a series of bumps and holes, cuts and bruises, which deepen our relationship with our Savior.
“After being tried, (maybe after many trials), one day I shall come forth as Gold. I will get there but it takes time and when I least expect it, I will bloom.” This brings me comfort today. I don’t have to have it all together. But one day, not necessarily on this earth, but one day I will come forth as Gold or Silver, Sterling Silver in my case. 🙂
The fact that God doesn’t think I have to have it all together makes it alright with me. Knowing I’m not perfect takes a lot of pressure off me. He knows where I am and He will keep working with me. And God will keep working with you too.
When things happen to us, it helps us to understand that God has to test and try us and we must not think something is wrong with us. Maybe the question we need to ask ourselves is,“God what are you trying to teach me through this situation to grow me more like you?” God is good. God is using all this to bring us to the point that we will be like gold, to be more like Him. And that perspective is our hope (Romans 8: 24).
Whatever area of our lives it is, God will not give up on us. We will get it sooner or later, but if we don’t, He loves us. We don’t have to have it all together today, there is always tomorrow, the day after and the day after. Romans 8:1 says, “There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.” If God has grace for us, then we need to receive that grace and stop judging ourselves.
“Lord, help me to never give up, knowing you love me and gave your life for me and are working to make me just like you.” (Roman 8:28-29)
When I met Jim in college at age 19, he confirmed this even more. I didn’t think I could do anything right. I often felt that I was trying my hardest but never getting it right. “Would I ever arrive?”
No one told me (other than my mom and a few other people) that I had something good to contribute. Or maybe I wasn’t to the point where I was ready to listen or see it. I just didn’t think I had anything to offer. Often, I compared myself to other people who I felt had it “all together”. I didn’t understand the gifts and abilities that God had personally given me as a Christian and believer (refer to I Corinthians 12)
Jim was handsome and loved the Lord. He was someone I looked up to and he liked me just the way I was. We were becoming good friends. His words of affirmation, surprise, and delight brought encouragement to my heart that I was on the right road to success with Jesus. I was learning what I had to offer really was making a difference in someone else’s life. God loved me just the way I was and I didn’t have to be perfect. I am so valuable to Him. I could trust God to work in my life in such a way to bring me to Himself.
“God, thank you for loving me, knowing me like no other. Thank you that I can trust you, you know and love me just the way I am. Knowing this and knowing you are part of my life makes me love you more. Lord, the more I love you and allow you to work in me, the more you will try me and bring me forth as Gold (Compare with Hebrew 12 and Job 23:10). Wow! Lord YOU, YOU love me that much to do that, to not give up on me. Thank you Lord for bringing people into my life who can love me too and see those special places in my life that you allow to shine. Thank you for bringing a wonderful husband who loves me enough to help me in those areas I need help and sees those special places too and makes them bloom more. I have a lot to be thankful for.”
Maybe you can be that person in someone else’s life. You can be that person who loves them just the way they are, who doesn’t expect them to “be perfect”, someone who helps them realize that God has a special plan for them but they don’t have to have it altogether. If someone has been that person in your life, God wants you to pass it on to someone else. His delight and acceptance is his gift to you, and it is the gift that those around you need the most.
Personal Reflections: How can you relate to my story? What do you do or what truth(s) do you claim about yourself from God during those times of insecurities, trials and/or temptations? Who has God brought into your life that has made an impact on you? It doesn’t have to be a husband like my story, maybe just a good friend, or even a stranger. What did you learn from them about yourself and God? or Tell us a story of how you are making an impact in someone else’s life? Please tell us one of your stories or journeys in the comment section of the blog.
From one woman pilgrim to another, journeying together,
“Consider how you might encourage one another on as you see the day approaching…..” Hebrews 10:24-25
Please Reply in a gracious manner