( *Names are changed to protect the privacy of others.)
“I planted, Apollas watered, but God gave the growth. So neither he who plants nor he who waters is anything, but only God who gives the growth.” (I Corinthians 3:6-7)
We arrived at this beautiful native resort called “Beehive”,overlooking one of the gorgeous Bohol Beach Coastlines of the Philippines, where the conference that Jim would be speaking at was being held. As I awoke the next morning I remembered that our room had a balcony. It overlooked the clear water before us with its blue and green colors.
The sea sat still, resembling as a picture of my feelings of peace and quietness before the Lord. So many good memories of our days in the Philippines rumbled my brain in thankfulness to God. This moment allowed us the opportunity to come back here again after so many years. We had lived on this same island for thirteen years.
Later that day we soaked up the moment and memories thanking the Lord. Some delicious mixed fresh fruit, like sweet mangoes, papayas, bananas and others greeted us for our breakfast. Nothing like fresh tropical fruit!
Then we proceeded to our first meeting session. As we walked in, Melinda*, my aerobic exercise coach from 17 years earlier, stood leading in worship along with a whole worship team.
When we lived and served on this island, I had joined Melinda’s* exercise class with one other friend whom had just become a follower of Christ at that time. We decided to take this class so that the two of us could work not only on our health, have time together as friends to grow in God but also so I could teach my friend Sharon* how to share her new found faith. I love making friends and connecting them with others but especially introducing them to my best friend Jesus Christ.
During our year with Melinda*, our team also used her place for a children’s ballet recital. Our kids along with neighborhood children had a ballet class at her place. The last day of the class, we invited the parents and friends to come to see an “end of the year” performance. We wanted our own kids to have as normal a life away from the States as possible, since this was our home now. We didn’t want them to feel like they were missing out on anything if we ever went back to the US for any reason. We wanted to use anything we could to build relationships with the community too. We were thankful for Melinda* to let us use her place to host this event.
Melinda* and her husband had not met Jesus personally when we left some 17 years ago. We had grown a great friendship relationship with them. We went out to eat, went to movies, invited them to Bible Study party events etc. We would often have great conversations centered on spiritual things but they weren’t ready to enter a Bible Study group themselves before we left.
As we were leaving the Philippines to come back to the States for good, after 13 years, we introduced them to our other co-workers to continue the friendship. Eventually they did join a Bible Study and soon became followers of Jesus. Today she stood up leading in Worship. Wow! A flood of memories came rushing back from our days on Bohol.
The minute I saw Melinda*, my heart leaped with Joy. I didn’t know she had become a follower of Jesus, through our c0-worker’s Bible Studies so to see her up front leading us in songs to Jesus it brought tears of joy to my heart in praise to the Lord. To hold my tears back I immediately went to the rear of the room to be with Jim. The Lord said, in my mind, you should just go over there and share it with her.
As I approached her after the worship time was over, I hugged her and expressed my delight to the Lord and the reasons for my tears. She hugged back and we wept together. It was a God moment indeed, in celebration to Him for what He had done in the lives of two people, hers and mine, many years ago until now.
After a few moments of this she looked at me and said, “It was you Sterling that planted the 1st seeds of Christ in my heart when you asked me a question at exercise class, do you remember?”
No!” “What?
You said, Do you realize the words of your music you play each day in class? Or Do you pick the music for the beat?
At that moment I remembered asking her that question but forgot the rest of the story. However, not for long because she proceeded to tell me what happened next. In asking her this question my hope was to find out where her heart was for spiritual things and then have a point of entry later for a conversation that might lead to things of God.
She said:
Sterling, after you asked me that question, I went home, listened and realized all was on sex and lust. It got me to thinking about my life and God. It was soon after that I joined the Bible Study and came to know Jesus as my personal Savior.
We both gave glory to God….
We often don’t see the Lord’s Fruit from our service to Him. Some plant, some water, but God gets the glory. God was kind enough for us to see the fruit and He got the glory!
The apostle John says,
that there isn’t any greater joy than to see my children growing. (I John)
I can relate to the apostle John again on that day after seeing Melinda*. There are many Sterling’s, Co-Workers and Melinda’s out there, some plant, some water but God gets the glory. So don’t lose heart! God doesn’t miss a beat and uses all. Loving, being present in listening to people, and asking good questions to draw out what is in people’s hearts, the Holy Spirit can use even when we don’t know it. Keep looking to Him as your author and finisher of your faith, as you go toward people and serve others well. May you point them to your best friend Jesus.
PERSONAL REFLECTIONS: What thoughts stirr within you as you read this story? Can you expound them? How are you connecting to people to make the place you are serving home and share Jesus? How are you walking alongside of others? Please share any comments.
From One Pilgrim to another together on the journey,
“Consider how you may spur one another on towards love and good deeds….. encouraging one another–and all the more as you see the Day approaching.” Hebrews 10:24-25 (NIV)
27 But God chose what is foolish in the world to shame the wise; God chose what is weak in the world to shame the strong; (I Corintians 1:27)
INTRODUCTION About the time I started to feel the heat of the lions den, in walks Debbie! Here was someone who was considered a nobody in the eyes of most people around her. Never meeting Debbie before that day I would have thought the Red Sea had just parted. I felt “The Spirit of God was with her”. Debbie’s presence transformed the atmosphere in the room and my grandmother’s attitude. Wow. Who is this woman?
Afterwards Debbie told me “Well, the first day after I came home from being with your grandmother, I told my husband I wasn’t going back to work for that woman. He asked me a few questions and after hearing my reasons said, “okay, but have you prayed about it first?” That was all he had to say. I was convicted as I told him I hadn’t.”
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MY GRANDMOTHER, MAMAMA & DEBBIE….
During the Great Depression, my grandparents worked hard and through much difficulties and uncharted choices made it rich by most standards. This hard earned wealth created a perception that her family had this unspoken standard to measure up to. When my dad didn’t always live up to it, it wasn’t pleasant around my family. Often their attitudes were imputed onto us kids, too. I never felt totally accepted by my grandparents, but in some strange way I respected them and knew they loved us even if it wasn’t always demonstrated in ways I would have preferred or understood.
I am thankful for my grandparents (Nananer (Na-na-ner) and Mamama (Ma-ma-ma) for many good memories, During my elementary years we would often spend, Thanksgiving and Christmas dinners with them. During Easter time, they also invited us to their beach house.
My Grandfather built a tree house in the woods for us to enjoy. I loved exploring and climbing around their home. I believe God used them, to also plant a seed, of my love now, for tennis. But at the time I didn’t want anything to do with it
Even with a disfunctional family I knew I was part of something bigger than just my immediate family. With my grandparents, parents and siblings, I felt a sense of belonging, family, hospitality, and community. But I wouldn’t understand it all till years later.
After Nananer died due to kidney failure, my grandmother missed him, of course, but as she aged she became “harder” on the inside. She had much to contend with and lived with a lot of loneliness even though she knew many people. Mamama felt like she still had a reputation to live up to.
This world Mamama created did not easily permit me to feel accepted for who I was. I didn’t dress the way she thought I should. I became a follower of Jesus, went to a Christian college, married a Yankee and served overseas as a missionary. Each decision was contrary to her ideals or expectations for me.
One of the qualities Mamama had was her strong disposition. She didn’t back down for anyone! I think I inherited some of that tough hide. “Shhhhhh! No comments.”
After being overseas for many years, married and with kids, we came home from living in Asia on home ministry (furlough) for a year when I went to visit Mamama. Mamama was now up in years and we didn’t know how long she would live so this visit was very important. I picked up a gift for her like Jacob presented to Esau before he saw his estranged brother. Like, Jacob didn’t know how Esau would respond to him, I didn’t know what reaction I would get from my grandmother. I was apprehensive.
I also asked God to go before me like Moses had asked God.
As I arrived I met Debbie, this sweet African-American lady who was now one of the primary care-givers for my grandmother. She took me upstairs to see Mamama. My aunt was there, my father’s sister. I took my youngest daughter too, since she had never met her great grandmother. All seemed to be going well.
Until my aunt and Grandmother took the conversation in a direction I didn’t want to go. I wanted to honor my grandmother but the direction turned more difficult and critical. This was not something I wanted my daughter to hear.
About the time I started to feel the heat of the lions den, in walks Debbie! You would have thought the Red Sea had just parted. Never meeting Debbie before that day, I felt “The spirit of God was with Her”. I felt His presence when Debbie walked into the room. Amazing! Debbie’s presence transformed the atmosphere and my grandmother’s attitude. The rest of our visit was unusually pleasant. Wow! Who is this women?
I knew Mamama’s bent was prejudice toward blacks, which was common in the south in her day. But it was the 1990’s, yet in some ways she had not changed with the times. So I was surprised by the love Debbie was showering on my grandmother. And my grandmother was receiving it!
I found out later Debbie knows Jesus. He was making a difference through her life.
God can use what the world thinks as foolish to confound the wise.
The Israelites in the book of Joshua were now waiting outside Jericho on the otherside of the Jorden where they were told by God to take possession of the land. This city had strong defenses.
In Numbers13-14, we see the Israelites wandering in the wilderness for 40 years because the people disobeyed, listening instead to the 10 spies out of 12. The 10 giving the ‘majority report’ saw themselves as grasshoppers and the people in the Promise Land as giants. Now many years later, God’s people and Joshua are about to enter the Promise Land facing this big city. How will they view themselves? Did they learn the needed lessons?
Joshua was one of the origianal 12 spies, He did not see giants. How will Joshua, as the new leader, some 40 years later, lead the Israelites to trust God forward to destroy Jericho?
Joshua decided to send in 2 people not 12 to spy out the land before attacking it. He had learned a valuable lesson. The two spies met Rahab, a prostitute.
The 2 spies found out from Rahab, how God had gone before, creating fear in the hearts of the Canaanites. Rahab wanted to believe in their God.
She, too, was considered a nobody! Rahab demonstrated her faith by hiding these 2 spies from her own people. She helped them escape even in the evident danger of possible death.
[https://archive.org/details/rahab_the_harlot[/]( by Ky Baptist)
I don’t know about you but sometimes I feel like a nobody. “How can I help” I am just one person and what’s in front of me seems so daunting.
The Spirit of God had gone before Joshua and the people into Jericho even before the two spies arrived. They were guided to Rahab. She responded in faith. Can you think of a time where you felt the Spirit of God working?
I cannot remember the time table of life but not much later, maybe two years, we came back from living overseas when Mamama took her last breath.
I was not looking forward to going to the funeral. I was sad not knowing where Mamama would be spending eternity. She never wanted anything to do with followers of Jesus, and their Lord even though she was a faithful church goer.
Mamama felt Jesus was a crutch and thought she lived just fine. When she died her requests were only a graveside service and no flowers. No one was allowed to give any testimonies about her apart from her pastor. I so wanted to share some of my good memories but no opportunity was presented.
As Mamama’s Minister gave her Eulogy, I thought I was at the wrong graveside service. He didn’t really represent the grandmother I knew. Very impersonal and depressing!
I was feeling guilty too, all I could think of was hurtful things I felt she had imputed on me and others I loved. Of course I am praying and asking God to help me with a better attitude and some kind of hope that I could walk away with through the service. But I wasn’t finding anything!
As I was praying, however, I saw Debbie, the caregiver. I made a mental note I would connect with her after the service was over.
______________________________
“Debbie, Debbie, hi, I don’t know if you remember me but I am one of my grandmother’s, granddaughters, Sterling”?
“Yes, I remember you.”
“Do you know who was with my grandmother in her final moments and how she died? ”
“I and Gladis, (the maid) were with her.”
“Really, would you mind taking the time to tell me about it”?
“Sure” she said with a soft smile. As everyone left, Debbie took the next hour to share as we walked the graveside together.
“When I came to work for your grandmother, after one day I knew I did not want to work with that lady! When I was a little girl, my aunt worked for this old critical prejudice rich lady and after I saw what that lady did to my aunt I vowed as a little girl I will never wipe the “butt” of any white rich old woman with that kind of attitude, if life depends on it.“
“Well the first day after I came home from being with your grandmother, I told my husband I wasn’t going back. He asked me a few questions and after hearing my reasons said “okay but have you prayed about it first?” That was all he had to say. I was convicted as I told him I hadn’t. ”
“I then said I would let him know in the morning. I couldn’t sleep all night. The next morning when I woke up, I knew God had called me back to take care of your grandmother. I realized she needed Jesus and God wanted me there to tell her. I didn’t know how but I knew God wanted me to go there and show her first His love by loving her.”
“Over the months leading up to her death, I processed each person in the family with her. I started with each grandchild and then up to your dad and mom. With each person I pushed and pushed with questions until her straw man of what she had fixated about them could not be justified and she had to forgive them.”
“She would get so mad but when she got quiet I knew God had gotten through to her core. God gave me the courage because she could have fired me but didn’t. God was working in her heart.“
“The day she died, Gladis and I were bathing her when she was asking us to hurry. “
“Hurry, Hurry,” she kept yelling. We didn’t understand why the rush. But, she wanted us to dress her fast and have her ready.
I realized as we were finishing her up it wouldn’t be long before she would die, her feet were getting blue and it was going up her leg. It would soon hit her heart and she would be dead.
As the last piece of clothing was on her, she looked at me and asked very sincerely, “Debbie, will God accept me into Heaven?”
“I said Caroline, God has always accepted you, the question is will you accept him?”
“What must I do?” She said.
“You know what to do. We have talked about it before. You must ask him to forgive you and surrender yourself to him believing what He did for you on the cross. He died so you could have eternal life. He is your Lord and loves you very much!
She paused and then set up with strength I didn’t know she had and said,
“Okay Lord please forgive me!” As her arms went up in the air and then she laid back down.”
“As I looked into her eyes there was a glow on her face like I had never seen before. She was so calm and peaceful. When she turned and looked up at me and said,
“Debbie…. Thank you!” She smiled… and closed her eyes and died”.
All of a sudden Gladis and I felt a breeze in the room, even with all the doors and windows closed. With Gladis on one side of the bed and I on the other between your grandmother, we stood frozen staring at each other, tears streaming down both of our cheeks, on what felt like holy ground.
Later as we talked, we both confirmed the air felt was God’s spirit taking your grandmother up to heaven. “
Wow! I, too, sensed God’s presence and God’s delight in my spirit as she told the story of her time with my grandmother. This is the hope I came for.
After giving Debbie a great big hug, I looked at Debbie with tears in my eyes now, and said “Thank you for heeding God’s call in your life. For being there for my grandmother even when she wasn’t so nice to you. Thank you for taking time to share this forever loving memory etched in my heart.”
______________________________
“Thank you Lord for Debbie. For answering my prayers! For letting me hear this story Lord, in redeeming my grandmother’s life before she died.”
______________________________
Debbie, was weak before the world but mighty before God, like Rahab where God chose to put both on assignment for His Kingdom work. Debbie with my grandmother and Rahab for the 2 spies, the Israelites, and her family.
PERSONAL REFLECTIONS: What about this story either Rahab, Debbie or my grandmother resonated with your heart? What made both Debbie and Rahab step up to accept their tasks? How might history have been different without their courageous faith? Would love to hear your thoughts in the comment section …
From One Pilgrim to another together on the journey,
“Consider how you may spur one another on towards love and good deeds….. encouraging one another–and all the more as you see the Day approaching.” Hebrews 10:24-25 (NIV)
Since you are precious and honored in my sight, and because I love you… Isaiah 43:4a.
For a whole year a friend of mine had encouraged me to visit The Brooklyn Tabernacale Congregation, founded by author and pastor, Jim Cymbala and his wife, in New York. It holds three huge services each Sunday in a broadway theater they bought.
I was working at an international organization headquartered in Pennsylvania, when my friend and I finally found a date to make this trip happen. We even ended up with two car loads of friends tagging along with us. More the merrier, seems to be our motto.
We had waited outside in line for a good hour or so before they let us all in for the worship service. Once in, we now waited with anticipation in the upper balacony for the service to begin. We sat and watched the massive amount of people continue to pile in after us to find their seats.
SO WHAT IS ALL THE FUSS ABOUT?
The famous, Brooklyn Tabernacle Choir finally began captivating us with their beautiful sounds of praise to God along with over 700 of us in the audience singing along. You could sense the presence of God in the room as the people sang. The anticipation of hearing Pastor Jim Cymbala preach to us from God’s Word next was also felt.
I would finally get to hear the man I had read about and been so inspired by. The stories in his books related back to when the church plant first started and how God answered their many prayers.
Yet, I was not prepared for what God had planned next. Mr. Cliff Barrows was ushered out and introduced as the guest speaker. Not expecting this change of speakers, my reaction upon seeing him surprised me. I got all excited and found myself ready to run down the isle and up on stage to give him a big hug.
MR. CLIFF BARROWS
Why? Mr. Barrows, who used to be the worship and song director for the Billy Graham Crusade, had also been a neighbor of my paternal grandparents well up until my early 20’s. We connected on so many levels. His father, I believe, was a “Gideon” and even served in the Philippines. This had been our home for 13 years as well.
Cliff and His first wife, Billie, which had 2 years earlier passed away, had also become like my adopted grandparents. They loved Jim, my husband and me. They prayed and encouraged us; even took great interest in our work in Asia. They even became financial partners with us for a season..
They always made time for my husband and me when we were home from the Philippines. This meant much since he was a busy man. Occasionally, they would ask me to cook a Filipino meal for them.
Cliff and Billie gave much counsel and encouragement as we considered adopting our 4th child. They listened well and gave wisdom during many of our transitions.
They loved my grandparents and my father too. Often extending Christ to them in more ways than one. I cannot say enough about this man, who just passed away a couple of years ago. For all these and more I am grateful.
This gives you some backdrop to appreciate my excitement to see him stand and get ready to deliver God’s Word. My heart leaped. Seeing him, truly was an unexpected surprise gift from God. I had not seen Cliff for many years.
I was told later he was now legally blind. Yet, he preached as if he was reading all the Words directly from the Bible. He knew many Scripture verses by heart. He gave an amazing message!
OKAY, BUT WHY AM I TELLING YOU ALL THIS?
My dad, almost 89 years old, whom I don’t know for sure he is a follower of Jesus, even to this day, knows Cliff as a former friend. Cliff, when home from travels often took time out to have lunches with my dad in the days he lived next door to my paternal grandparents.
Leading up to this event at The Brooklyn Tabanacle, my grandmother had already been dead for 4 years. Right after her death some important decisions needed to be made. After seeking the Lord and much wise counsel from others, my siblings and I, felt it best to disagree with my dad. For some reason, this caused my father’s wrath. He didn’t want anything to do with us afterwards.
Always being in my dad’s good graces as “his little girl” this choice on his part hit us hard. As we waited on the Lord to change my dad’s heart, through much prayer, I wrote my dad many special letters and cards but he never responded back.
In good conscience I knew I was faithfully honoring and loving my dad. Even though we disagreed on this one decision.
So when I saw Cliff, all the grief and love for my dad which had been built up inside of me came pouring out. I felt like I was seeing my dad and I couldn’t control the tears that came flooding out before the Lord. I tried to hold them back but I couldn’t
Here this 40 something “young” lady, at that time was a basket case. My friends didn’t know what to do. Before they could say anything I got up and walked downstairs to the front in order to be ready to hug and talk to Cliff when he got finished.
Not realizing just how big of a production this place was… when I got down to the stage, these 2 big security guys were standing at the entrance of the platform stairs, watching guard. They would be escorting Mr. Barrows off when he was done, away from the crowd.
The invitation for people to come forward was happening so I thought it would be just fine to go on stage and talk to him. What was I thinking?!
“Yes Miss? You can’t go any further! Is there anything you would like”.
Yes I am friends with Mr. Cliff Barrows. He knows me and I want to see him and say Hi”
The man’s eyes displayed concern but wasn’t sure if I was for real. He was there to do his job. “Ma’am, he will be whisked off when he is finished, I don’t think you will be able to see him”.
“But I have to” as tears uncontrollable again started to roll down my cheeks. Feeling rather embarrassed and stupid now. “He knows me, I have to talk to Him!”
“I will see ma’am. I will ask when he comes down but I can’t promise you. Just stand over there if you would please and wait.”
I stood there talking to myself trying to get my composure. “If I can just see and talk to him, that’s all I ask Lord. I just need a hug and I will be okay.”
“Come on Sterling, get control of yourself”, then the tears would flow again. The bodyguard kept looking at me strangely. I was trying to act like I wasn’t some cookie crazy woman but I am sure I wasn’t too convincing.
BUT, I COULDN’T MOVE AND WAS DETERMINE TO SEE HIM!
The Brooklyn Tabernacle
As soon as Cliff ended his message he was swept from the stage as the crowd of people engulfed him and I was pushed to the side. This same guard, as he passed had the most compassionate look in his eyes, as he moved his lips, “I am so sorry miss.”
I yelled out “Just tell him it is Sterling Moseley O’Neill”. The man was kind and daring enough to mention to Cliff my full name, probably thinking, that is the least I can do for this lady, but I am not sure it will matter!
When he mentioned my name to Mr. Barrows, Cliff stopped in his tracks and said, “Where is she?”
The guard pointed toward my way and the sea of people parted. Cliff put out his hands towards me and again said “Where is she?”
“She is over there, Sir.” Cliff, remember he could not see me because he was considered legally blind, put out his hands and said, “Please come here, Sterling.” The look on the guard’s face was one of surprise and delight for me and motioned for me to come.
When I reached Cliff, He hugged me. We talked for only a few minutes, forgetting the many people looking in on us. Then, he left just as fast. My tears seemed to subside instantly. I was filled with contentment and joy. My heart was full. I was okay. It was like my dad had given me a special hug. Or more like a hug from my heavenly Father. WHAT A SURPRISE GIFT FROM GOD!
One day we will die. Then we shall see Jesus extend his pierced marked hands and say “come” and call us by name, and take us up to heaven. I know what I felt and I look forward to that day when Jesus, will call my name because I am written in His book. I am precious, honored and belong to Him.
How do you feel? Can you picture it? Is your name written in His book? JESUS IS ALIVE putting His arms out to hug you. Go to Him.
PERSONAL REFLECTION: With the Easter season, once again, Jesus is reminding us He is alive, calling, knows us by name, and/or is ready to hug us. What story can you remember where God showed up where you felt like it was a surprise gift from God, as in my story? Take time to write it down and be a blessing in someone else’s life. How have you experienced God’s presence this week even? Please share a story with us in the comment section: A SURPRISE GIFT FROM GOD.
*my dad and I today are on talking terms. God answered prayers and the doors were open to mend our relationship. But I still do not know where he is with the Lord.
From One Pilgrim to another together on the journey,
“Consider how you may spur one another on towards love and good deeds….. encouraging one another–and all the more as you see the Day approaching.” Hebrews 10:24-25 (NIV)
Now to him who is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think, according to the power at work within us. (Ephesian 3:20)
A family member told us on Monday that a pastor friend called him last Friday night. The pastor was so upset and distraught, not knowing what to do. He needed a close friend to sort things out, and pray with him and needing some wisdom on what to do next.
After our family member got his pastor friend all calmed down, the pastor friend told the story about how his wife’s mother, who had died unexpectedly. When his wife had heard the news she broke down and cried. He had never seen his wife so discouraged. This pastor friend loved his wife so much that he was willing to do anything to help his wife get through this.
They had just finished making arrangements at the funeral home and were on their way home. As they were nearing their home, they approached a corner stop sign. Here the couple saw a group of teenage kids, trouble makers, that they knew from their neighborhood. The kids were yelling and fighting with each other and as people in their cars stopped at the stop sign the kids would antagonize, the onlookers.
When the pastor and his wife stopped these kids started giving them a hard time, too. This pastor was going to get out of there as fast as he could, thinking it best to ignore them. But there were too many cars in front of them that delayed desired get-out-of-there.
Finally, the wife rolled her window down, not able to hold in her anger any longer, after the way her day had gone. She started screaming out the window, “You don’t want to mess with me today, this is not a good day, so stop fighting and get out of here!”
Among other things, about the time she started talking someone decided to report the incident. A police officer just happened to be strolling past in his car as well at that same time. It didn’t look good.
He saw what was happening and arrested the teenage kids and the “pastor’s wife” as well! The pastor tried to tell the police officer who he was and what was happening but the officer wouldn’t listen. He arrested her on inciting and possibly causing a fight. If he arrested the teenagers yelling, he had to arrest her too, for responding out of her car with like manner.
The husband wasn’t able to go with the police officer. Being late Friday night his wife would have to go to jail. The pastor called the police station to see about getting her out but he would have to wait until tomorrow or Monday to talk to anyone who would have any kind of authority to get her out.
This is when he called our family member, who prayed with his pastor friend. Our family member was willing to go down with him the next day to help get this pastor’s wife out. This was about all that could be done that night. So they waited till morning.
The next morning, our family member found out that his pastor friend didn’t sleep at all the whole night. He worried about his wife, all night! He remembered the state of her from earlier that day. How upset she was with her mother just dying, the teenagers and now being put in jail all night. He assumed this would send her over the top.
After entering the jailhouse the next day and doing all the necessary paperwork, his wife was able to be released. As she walked out she was smiling and laughing and hugging all the people who were in prison with her and the guards, as she said her good-byes.
What was going on!
She told him that when she got there she was put in jail with about 11 young girls. Because she was older then all these girls and a pastor’s wife they all started coming to her one by one, talking to her throughout the night with their problems. She was able to share Christ with them in the process. She had become like a mother or good big sister to them.
When she found out one of them had a birthday, too, she rallied the officers to get a birthday cake and they celebrated this girl’s birthday in the cell. She had won the hearts of all these young ladies and they loved her, as well as the guards. How many pastor’s wives get thrown into jail as a way to minister?
Here her husband was up all night worrying and she in jail rejoicing and being used by God! Sounds like the apostle Paul when he was in jail singing and the jailer got saved and the church was up all night praying.
God opened up an opportunity for her to share and she took it. Are you looking for opportunities? Are you praying for these kinds of opportunities? God is ready to open up the door when He knows you are ready to walk through it.
From One Pilgrim to another together on the journey,
“Consider how you may spur one another on towards love and good deeds….. encouraging one another–and all the more as you see the Day approaching.” Hebrews 10:24-25 (NIV)
“Above all, keep loving one another earnestly, since love covers a multitude of sins.” (I Peter 4:8)
*TAKE NOTE: True story but Names have been changed to protect the innocent. Doris Smith and Lisa Jones, were better know as Aunt Doris and Aunt Lisa by the kids. The Smiths and the Jones’ have been best friends for many years now. However, this story is a case study of how this hasn’t always been the case
BACKGROUND
When Joe and Lisa Jones arrived overseas in Asia, they were at the young age of 25 and 23 respectfully. They had only been married for about a year and a half with no children. They joined two other couples making up a team of three families. One, was the Febbos, Bill and Sarah, and the other one, Tom and Doris Smith.
The Smiths, newly married too, making many short-term mission trips in the past, to other locations around the world before they were married, but never together as a couple. They arrived about a month or so before the Jones’ did and with no children also.
The Smiths came from a home where both parents were believers. Joe and Lisa both came from religious homes but none of them professed Christ, until years later. Lisa’s parents divorced when she was young but soon accepted Jesus as her personal Savior. Joe got saved when he was 19, which meant turning from a life of many sinful choices, to Jesus as Lord of his life.
The Febbos, unlike the Smiths and the Jones’, had been married for many years and had arrived a little over a year before the two other couples did and had 3 small children. The Febbos knew both couples previously but the Jones and the Smiths had only met one other time before coming to Asia and it had been a whole year since they had last seen each other.
The Febbos set the Smiths and the Jones’ up in one house together, until another suitable home could be found. It was furnished which was rare in this part of the world. Plus the Febbos thought the couples might need each other at first, until they got adjusted to the new place.
The Smiths were put on one side of the house and the Jones were put on the other side but shared the same kitchen together. Being a big house compared to what they each were used to, it sounded like a good plan. What could they say, the Febbos had been so nice to get it for them.
POTENTIAL CONFLICTS
By Richard Lee
However, the Jones and the Smiths soon found out how difficult it was to live together. What and how to cook? The Smiths liked beef and the Jones liked fish. Doris knew how to cook from scratch and Lisa only knew how to cook from boxes and cans which she couldn’t find any. It felt like she knew nothing about cooking.
The Febbos provided them with what they called a “helper” (a live-in maid) to assist them. Lisa and Doris both knew nothing about this kind of set up.
Now, you might be thinking, “I wish I had a maid”. But, if you are newly married, never kept house much (or have different ideas of how to clean one’s home), can’t speak the language yet, where the helpers are there 24/7, and having several new people live in your home, it can be pretty scary and invasive at first. Did I mention they were newly married too!
They both were experiencing culture shock. When Doris went through culture shock she reacted by going inside herself to process. If you knew Doris today you would be surprised to think she was anything but quiet. She has a vibrate personality. On the other hand, Lisa verbalized outward to process. So the more Lisa talked the more Doris went inside herself and the more she went inside herself the more Lisa talked.
WHAT DOES THIS ALL ADD UP TO?
After several months of living together the Smiths, wisely so, decided to move out. Of course this caused all kinds of emotions inside of Lisa. She had become accustomed to having them around and thought she had been the one who might have caused them to move out. The Smiths reassured her this wasn’t the case. They just needed their privacy. They were most kind but it didn’t feel like it at the time. Leaving left their relationship a little emotionally rocky but it did ease some of the tension.
Six months later, Doris and Lisa were both pregnant with their first child, causing them to realize that even their parenting styles were different.
Soon the Febbos left to go home for their one year first “Home Assignment” and that left the Smiths and the Jones to hold up the fort and carry on the work together. No longer were the Febbos there for them to shield their differences behind.
Bill appointed Joe as Team Leader, which had its own set of emotions on both sides since they both had arrived around the same time, and Tom was older. Now the differences had to be addressed if they were to survive and work together as a team.
POTENTIAL RESOLUTIONS
Picture by Briana Tozour
The men seemed to be able to put the differences aside living out what they were called to do but Doris and Lisa, well what can I say? Lisa couldn’t hold it in very long. Both families were committed to the process of reconciliation but it seemed the tension continued and the more the two girls tried to talk it out the more complicated the issues became. Each time the cyle would start over. No fun walking on what us Americans call egg shells. It hurts!
How long could this go on? Joe, being the team leader was a very patient man but didn’t like seeing his wife hurting and in conflict with Doris. He wanted this resolved but he just didn’t know what the next steps were.
Joe went to Tom privately, both agreeing that one of them needed to leave if the two families weren’t committed to working things out. They couldn’t keep living this way. So Joe was willing to nominate the “Jones’” to leave to ensure that the work continued with peace.
The odd thing about it all is that they all needed each other and they knew it but they also knew that they either had to leave or God had to do something to change them. They couldn’t keep living this way.
PROCESS OF HOPE
Lisa got a hold of a book “Key to a Loving Heart”, by Karen Burton Mains, who helped Lisa explore the feelings she was having toward Doris. Realizing they were the same feelings she felt toward her paternal grandmother. Lisa never felt accepted by her grandmother, for who she was.
Maybe this is why I am having conflicts with Doris. She thought. I don’t feel Doris accepts me for who I am! Maybe because I never forgave my grandmother, that’s why I can’t forgive Doris.
Whatever it was Lisa knew she needed to humble herself and forgive her grandmother before she could proceed with Doris. Lisa immediately took time to write a letter to her grandmother to tell her how she felt. Her grandmother wasn’t a follower of Jesus so she wanted to be very careful how she worded everything so her grandmother would understand. It wasn’t easy.
Lisa in the process of writing her grandmother to tell her that she forgave her, realized at that moment she also never really accepted her grandmother either. After much soul searching, Lisa forgave her grandmother and also asked God to forgive her.
It was all a process but Lisa decided not to send the letter but kept the letter to remind her that God also truly accepted and loved her personally too. She was forgiven! She was now ready to love and accept her grandmother and Doris, no matter what, even if they were different than her.
Also receiving God’s acceptance and love of her as well in a deeper way. She knew now He was the one who would work the conflict out. Lisa placed her confidence back on HIM and not in the fear of man. She didn’t have to be afraid and react to defend herself.
She still needed to share with Doris, her frustrations, but now she found she didn’t have to as much, she was learning to accept Doris more so the differences didn’t matter as much. Plus, she was free to love Doris even when Lisa didn’t feel Doris was not loving her back the way she thought she should. Lisa could also forgive herself for the mistakes she would make. It wasn’t about Lisa so much anymore but about God working in her out to Doris and others. God working His purposes in both of them. Philippines 1:6 was an encouragement to her, “What God has begun, He would complete”.
God was already changing Lisa. God was changing Joe and unknown to the Jones’ God was changing Tom and Doris too.
How do we know? Because soon after that Tom and Doris paid a visit to the Jones’ to apologize about their attitudes. They wanted things to work out and what was it that they needed to do to help things get better.
They recognized, also conflicts of leadership styles between Tom and Joe too. They all had a good cry, confessing, repenting and praying together that night. I think the Heavenly Host’s and our Lord were dancing with delight that night.
NEXT STEPS
THE FRUIT OF UNITY….
They mapped out some steps together to help insure the continued communications and growth between the two families. God was free now, to work in all of their hearts. It was no longer about “them” but about the work of God and His glory in and through them.
“…LOVE BEARS A MULTITUDE OF SIN” (I Peter 4:8b)
They were willing to accept each other a little bit better with their differences. They began to learn and appreciate one another as part of the body of Christ. They were also free to be themselves without feeling like they had to be what they thought the other person wanted them to be.
“IRON SHARPENS IRON AND ONE MAN SHARPENS ANOTHER” (Proverbs 27:17)
Their relationship after 30 plus years now has grown. They are still different but they have learned so much from each other they wouldn’t have if they hadn’t taken the steps of forgiveness.
Lisa often has been inspired by Doris in so many ways,
“AND LET US CONSIDER HOW TO STIR UP ONE ANOTHER TO LOVE AND GOOD DEEDS” (Hebrew 10:24).
And Doris would say the same about Lisa if she was writing this story. Many Asians today are following Jesus after watching the two families live out their lives together and hearing God’s word. Missionaries are now being sent out to other lands to hear how they can know Jesus and have eternal life. May God get the Glory, who has worked in and through them to bring about fruitful ministries for both of their lives today. The End!
Would love to hear your thoughts about this story as it relates to any you have experienced…..
PERSONAL OR GROUP REFLECTIONS: What issues do you see in this story that possibly can cause team conflicts? What potential ways did these couples try to go about to resolve the conflict initially? How would you have tried to resolve a conflict like this? What ways did God use to help in the process to help resolve the conflict? Can you think of some other ways God might use to help in the midst of conflict? What would be your one takeaway from this story for your own life? Please let me know in the comment section of this blog….
From One Pilgrim to another together on the journey,
“Consider how you may spur one another on towards love and good deeds….. encouraging one another–and all the more as you see the Day approaching.” Hebrews 10:24-25 (NIV)
2 that their hearts may be encouraged, being knit together in love, to reach all the riches of full assurance of understanding and the knowledge of God’s mystery, which is Christ, 3 in whom are hidden all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge. (Col 3:2-3)
Our Family would like to wish you a very Merry Christmas from our Home to yours! Whatever is your life’s journey remember God love’s you so much that He sent His Son as a baby, Jesus (Emanuel With US), who lived, died, and rose from the dead, so that we might have life and life more abundant, eternal life.
May He encourage your heart and help you remember what is important even when things might not be as you expected or would like. And be thankful for the things that you do have. Stop and reflect how God has blessed you then pray about ways to bless others. You are blessed to be a blessing.
As I think of Christmas my heart often is drawn to various people from around the world or people around me who are less fortunate or broken, in need of Christ. People, who may not have a family to spend Christmas with or even heard the name of Jesus. How can I bless?
So what is it like for many overseas Gospel workers to be away from one’s mom, dad, siblings, “back home”, all that is familiar, especially at Christmas and find oneself living in another culture?
Many workers around the world and you may be one, too, wrestle with such conflicting thoughts. I was reminded of this the other day when I read an article in alifeoverseasblog.com “Tis the Season of Incongruity” by Marilyn on December 9, 2018. She helped put into words how one might feel this time of year. She stuggles with it, too, like many of you might.
The beauty of Christmas we often experience over against the hopelessness and brokeness of one’s reality around them gives us time to pause and think of those less unfortunate. Marilyn said “And yet, God’s story has always been a story of conflicting images…..God came into a world of contrasts. A world of the beauty and the broken….. I cannot make sense of this world but He can.” She concludes with
“The words of a Christmas carol”, where she said “I rest in these words”
Come, Thou long expected Jesus Born to set Thy people free; From our fears and sins release us, Let us find our rest in Thee. Israel’s strength and consolation, Hope of all the earth Thou art; Dear desire of every nation, Joy of every longing heart.” 1
Jesus, the True and only one God is the Hope of One’s Faith that satisfies the longing of the human heart. He is the key to the joy that makes sense of life’s incongruences.
I was in my early 20’s when I experienced my first Philippines, Christmas where we moved and would spend the next 13 years calling the province of Bohol home. Recently I found an article (update newsletter) I wrote from that time period. To my surprise it got published. As I read it again it was fun to reflect back on those early days in mission service in Asia. How did I handle that first Christmas away from what I knew to be home, before the Philippines became that place too? Maybe you can relate.
“Christmas time can be one of the hardest times for many missionaries especially when you are 10,000 miles from family. We found that by giving to those around us, we were able to see people brought together. I asked myself. “What am I giving of myself to make this the best Christmas ever for those I love and I am ministering to-like Christ gave of Himself to me?”a
Taking the advice of a friend, we had brought our own Christmas tree (4 ft Tall) with us from the States to our new home in the Philippines. Having it really helped us feel like we had a bit of “home” with us.
Reaching out to other” team-mates “was my next step. I had surprise gifts made for them and then packaged “native-made” gifts to send to our family in the United States.
On Christmas night, we got together with” some of the believers we were serving, “gave them gifts, sang Christmas songs, and presented the Christmas story. In giving to others, we were able to lose some of our home-sickness. We are very thankful for the ministry God has given us to these special people. “2
From the article even in my early 20’s I loved traditions, people, family and opportunities to express and reflect Christ to others. Also I looked for ways to give back to Jesus by giving to others in need.
This year I was given a gift for a free class with Coach Marcia Ramsland (https://organizingpro.com “Simplify Your Holiday Season This Year: Overcome Season Stress with a Plan” .3 Even as a Life Coach myself I still need and love to be coached.
So Marcia stressed the importance of giving time and space for our hearts so it got me thinking about what I might want to cut back on or what I might add to make sure my heart is prepared to serve others during this season. The point is to keep my heart on track with Jesus and the values important to me in the midst of the culture in which we live that doesn’t always lift Jesus up as the reason for the season.
Of course every year is different, so I have been reminded to simplify my Christmas to what I can fit in with whatever schedule given, saying yes to some things and saying no to others.
With all the traveling this year, unlike other years, and with all our children coming this year to celebrate Christmas with us, having Marcia’s class and coaching has helped me stay focused. To keep the main thing the main thing. Her coaching has allowed me to be able to be ready for Christmas both inside and out with much less stress and more time to feel relaxed and be ready for my family coming.
She encouraged us to put Jesus at the top of our Christmas gift list of people to get gifts for. “What can you do for Jesus this year?”. Almost the same question I asked myself in my early 20’s in the Philippines that first Christmas there.
So one thing we did this year was clean the house by getting rid of Christmas ornaments, clothes, etc… we didn’t want anymore but others could use.
We found an organization, “Global Charitable Resource” 4 who provide resources to those who are involved in changing the world. They also provide resources to those in diaspora communities and people around the world who might have greater needs at this time of the year.
Jim also preached a sermon last Sunday on “When Heaven and Earth Meet” on the characters in Luke 1 and 2. This study helped us stop and reflect in a deeper way into the lives of those God tells us about when HE (Jesus) was born into this world many years ago. Today He is still using us to tell His story in the midst of life’s messes.
Can you stop for a moment and reflect on where your heart is this Christmas if you haven’t yet? Seek to feel his presence then ask: what do I need to give up and what gift can I give Jesus this year? It is not yet too late!
PERSONAL REFLECTIONS: Where are you this Christmas? How is this Christmas different for you than before? What traditions enhance your season and enrich your life and faith? What can you do this year to make it more simple and less stressful? What ways can you give a gift to Jesus? Would love to hear some of your journey at the end of the section on “Merry Christmas 2018”
From One Pilgrim to another together on the journey,
“Consider how you may spur one another on towards love and good deeds….. encouraging one another–and all the more as you see the Day approaching.” Hebrews 10:24-25 (NIV)
One extra resource to encourage your heart during this Christmas season. 12-days-of-christmas-an-audio-devotional by Josh Davis, Founder of Proskuneo Ministries.
(note:To our friends from other lands enjoy a picture of Thanksgiving from America)
The Twin Boy’s: O’Neill-Kusssmauls 2018
“Enter His gates with thanksgiving, and his courts with praise! Give thanks to Him; bless His name!” Psalm 100:4
Many of you may be in a part of the world where Thanksgiving isn’t celebrated. When we lived overseas, introducing Thanksgiving and our American food to the host culture was such a great connector. They in return would often invite us over during their holiday celebrations. Also, it was an opportunity to get to know our colleages better and other ex-pats in the area.
Whoever or however we celebrated Thanksgiving, having others around us brought purpose and joy to the occasion. We were intentional in builting memories, relationships, and meaning into our holiday’s. What are you doing or planning for this year’s Thanksgiving?
After Thanksgiving last year I wrote this article below but never published it. This was the first Thanksgiving having grandkids with us since living in the States. Thought you would enjoy a peep into last year’s Thanksgiving with the extended O’Neill clan.
A few hightlights, as I reminise of our family time together, before I tell you where we will be this year. Hopefully it will inspire you with some ideas as you prepare for a more meaningful Thanksgiving day:
Maybe it is time now to let someone else do some of the cooking.Our son-in-law and our daughter, bought and brought the Turkey and cooked it. They have been married for a little over 6 years now and it was fun seeing them work so well together in the kitchen and with their kids. The turkey turned out more than delicious. Did I mention I didn’t have to cook it! Are you letting others contribute to the meal?
Matt Kussmaul in Kittchen Cooking…
The Delicious Turkey Delicious!
Thanksgiving 2017 with O’Neill-Kussmauls
What ways can you get your family involved?Taking time to think through the day beforehand, helps. There was such joy working in the kitchen together preparing the meal for the table. Everyone had their part in serving one another. This was the first holiday meal, I believe, when we all set together to eat where I wasn’t up and down many times serving. Where I didn’t feel exhausted when I finally got to eat. But it didn’t happen over night. All those years of training our family paid off; it was great to see my kids now wanting to serve more intentionally. It is well worth the wait! At least for this Thanksgiving 2017 meal.
Teaching moments are often caught more than taught.As we ate between the noise of little ones and set around the table afterwards the kids ran in, out and around us. Oh, what a heavenly buzz!! As we moved to the kitchen to clean up, my husband remarked: “The kids are learning that this event is not just about them but it is about the whole family. Getting them to help in the midst of us talking and seeing us all working together to clean up, gives them security and a sense of family. It is good for them not to always be the center of attention.” Two boys (twins no less) who happen to be 18 months at the time (now 2 1/2), our “adorable” grandkids cannot help be the center of the attention especially when we don’t get to see them often. For this, we were all full of contentment. It is another opportunity for a teachable moment caught not taught. It was a nice feeling to know they are growing up in a family that loves them. A joy seeing them feeling safe and happy in our midst of the unfamiliar (new place) now becoming familiar (grandparents home where I belong) where they are not always the center of the attention but loved.
The O’Neill-Kussmauls 2018
Opportunity to affirm, listen to one another, and give thanks to God. After the kitchen was cleaned and the kids were put down for the night we all set around reminising about what we were thankful for. What we were thankful about for one another from this past year and/or thankful highlights of the year in hindsight. What a joy to hear the hearts of our kids, what they were feeling, thinking and giving thanks to. Great for us to stop, remember what we were thankful for and then celebrate it in praise to God of what He had done both in and through us; As well as what He has done through others in our lives.
Find ways to make memories and connect. Even though 2 of our kids, their spouses, and 2 of our other grandkids, weren’t able to be here, we were thankful the others were. More memories made. But we did take time to “Zoom” with the others, so we could all be together for a moment at this special season of Thanksgiving. Try a Zoom call next time, it is the next best thing to being together.
Not every year do we get a day like today to be with family but we do try to celebrate it with someone. (This year we will be in Michigan with our other 2 grandkids and oldest daughter’s family)
The Wood Family Thanksgiving 2018 in MI
What are some of your Highlights from your Thanksgiving Day?
What teachable moments or values are your loved ones going to pick-up being around you?
Have you taken time to tell someone you are thankful for them or tell them something they did this year, you are thankful for? Be specific rather than general.
What ways are you going to celebrate and be thankful for this year as you look back in hindsight?
Personal Reflections: Share one of your favorite Thanksgivings and why. Take time to think through the questions above as you prepare for this year’s Thanksgiving. After Thanksgiving please share what some of your Highlights with us here. Would love to hear your thoughts in the comment session “Hope You Have A Blessed Thanksgiving”.
From One Pilgrim to another together on the journey,
“Consider how you may spur one another on towards love and good deeds….. encouraging one another–and all the more as you see the Day approaching.” Hebrews 10:24-25 (NIV)
Woman’s Home Missionary Society, 39th annual meeting- Hathi Trust- from Woman’s Home Missions, vol 37 (1912)
“And now, compelled by the Spirit, I am going to Jerusalem, not knowing what will happen to me there. 23 I only know that in every city the Holy Spirit warns me that prison and hardships are facing me. 24 However, I consider my life worth nothing to me; my only aim is to finish the race and complete the task the Lord Jesus has given me—the task of testifying to the good news of God’s grace.” (Acts 20:22-24)
MESHING OF HEARTS
Even as a little girl becoming a follower of Jesus, at the age of 11, I knew I wanted to go places. God had given me a curious and adventurous spirit. Two of my favorite songs as a young girl: “God loves the little Children of the World” and “Jesus Loves me”. I would sing them over and over even before I knew Jesus personally.
As my mom prompted us to write letters to some of our relatives fighting in the Vietnam War, as a way to thank and encourage them I would ask:.
“Where are they serving”? “What is it like where they are”? “They are doing this for our country”!? “What’s that mean? Etc…
I remember one particular day my mother went out and got a small little Christmas tree in September to give to our church to send to these people living far away we called missionaries. “Missionaries”? Who are they? “September, Christmas tree?” What’s it like to be away from family at Christmas with no tree?
Questions rose up in my young impressionable mind. Each experience opened up my world to something far bigger than me. It would take me many years to understand what some of this meant.
My dad oftened traveled too. I would hear about the different locations he visited but I didn’t always get to go with him. It was during my college years that I finally enjoyed the opportunity to travel myself. I told God one day “I would be willing to go anywhere He wanted me to go” if only God would allow me to share Him with others.
As I read books of other women who had gone before in missions, I learned of the “MODERN MISSIONARY MOVEMENT”. By the middle of the 1800’s a “WOMEN’S MISSIONARY MOVEMENT” developed. A time where women saw they could be part of the Great Commission by going or by helping others go. Many women were heeding the call to go. It became a significant day for women to be involved so that others could hear the Gospel in places where the name of Jesus were not known.
Knowing the life these women were choosing wasn’t going to be easy and they fascinated me. I couldn’t read enough. The commitment to missions was for life. Today, transportation is much more accessible. Many took their coffins with them knowing they would die there. Wow! Could I commit myself to something like that?
What Motivated these women to do what they did?
It was by knowing God and His Gospel that many received a compelling call. Pioneers like William carey (known as the “Father of Modern Mission, who was from Europe and went to India), also inspired Anne Judson (first missionary wife out from America to Burma (called Myanmar today), her husband, Adoniram Judson and others to consider their obedience to the Great Commission of Matt. 28:18-20.
18 Then Jesus came to them and said, “All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. 19 Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, 20 and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.”
They took their calling and command from God seriously. They wanted to team up with God and His heart for the nations; wanting to be a part of what God was doing. Often willing to go against cultural norms. My heart was being meshed with their hearts and I wanted to be just like them!
CALLING OF THEIR HEART
In Ann Judson’s day, she was considered an “assistant” missionary not a “missionary” in her own right. (Leonard Sweet, 91 and Dana Roberts, 1). What does that mean? As an “assistant” missionary, women were considered marginal to the “true missionary work” that men did as it was phrased. Of course this caught my eye.
Dana Roberts in her book “American Women in Mission: A Social History of their thought and Practice”, says that history books from the 1800 era implied that women missionaries “were and are doers but not thinkers, reactive secondary figures rather than proactive primary ones.” to the great commission. (Roberts, xvii).
When you read this statement what are your thoughts?
The stereotypes of women in ministry at the turn of the 19 century, were “perceived as marginal to the central tasks of missions.” (Roberts, xvii) In other words, women were there to meet human needs, help others, “sacrificing themselves without plan or season, all for the sake of bringing the world to Jesus Christ” but not ones who were actually called “missionaries” who ministered the Word of God to the people in need of the Gospel. (Roberts page xvii.) We have come a long way since those days.
Even in the 1500’s down to the 1800’s starting with Katherine Von Luther: Martin Luther’s wife, the first minister’s wife in the Protestant movement came to be considered , a companion, or helper in ministry. (Sweet, 13). What motivated her to make a hard obedient choice against what was considered a cultural norm of her day? Her obedience to God’s call on her life ended up influencing many.
Ann Judson, was considered one of the best-educated woman of her day. She broke cultural protocal, too, due to the desires of her heart. She was one of the first women to be allowed to attend the well known Bradford Academy in 1812. The school was one of the first charted to allow women into their school, which was for men only. It was founded by First Church of Bradford, MI, and the American Mission Board, which sent the Judsons out as their first missionaries. (Roberts, 15).
This begs the question: Why would Ann Judson, being an educated woman, yet considered “marginal and a secondary figure” want to go to the mission field in the first place? Was Ann’s motives to go overseas the same as her husband’s or did she go just because she was his wife?
As Ann Judson contemplated marrying Adoniram she wrote
“I am a creature of God and he has an undoubted right to do with me as seemeth good in His sight. I rejoice that I am in His hand–that He is everywhere present and can protect me in one place as well as in another… When I am called to face danger, to pass through scenes of terror and distress, He can inspire me with fortitude, and enable me to trust in Him… Whether I spend my days in India or America, I desire to spend them in the service of God and be prepared to spead an eternity in His presence…. I am quite willing to give up temporal comforts and live a life of hardship and trial, if it be the will of God… “Behold the handmaid of the Lord; be it unto me according to thy word”. (Luke 1:38). ( Deen, 172 )
Ann gives us a snapshot into the motivation and calling of her heart even as she faced the cultural norms and opposition of her day. Women were not allow to go overseas during the early part of the 1800’s without being married so for Ann to marry her husband was as much a part of the call as the call itself to go. It was taken very seriously.
SOMETHING BEYOND OUR OWN HEARTS
Much of early history didn’t write about women and their motives for going cross-culturally because what was written was by the view of the men of that day. So how do we know exactly what women were thinking about as it relates to their call? Again were they “called” like men in the traditional sense of the word? Roberts says in the early 19th century women wrote their “own gender based theories of missions for women” in their journals and in letters, “which revealed much rich thought world set of asumptions about women’s roles in the missionary task.” (Roberts).
We are safe to say from the beginning women in general were “as interested in missions as their male counterpart.” (Roberts, xii). However, because of the view of women in that day some also went against their own will. They were often forced to go or went because their husband’s went.
William carey’s wife didn’t share in his heartbeat for the lost world of India but went with Carey anyway. (refer: to Mangalwadi, and Candle in the Dark video). She suffered for it. Most of the women, however, did have a calling on their life and the difference it made! This was what often kept them serving, yielding much fruitful contribution to the glory of God, way after their lives ended. (John 15:8).
Women started their own mission agencies later on, where we read of single women who were then allowed to go and went compelled by God’s call just as their married women counterparts.
As I reminise, I see how God orchestrated my life even before I knew him personally. Like Ann when I prayed about someone to date and ultimately marry I wanted to make sure we both had the same calling. Therefore this has been our mantra as a couple from the beginning in any assignment God has called us.
When God called us first to the Philippines, God confirmed to me through Joshua 1:9 “Be strong and courageous be not fearful, dismayed or discouraged, for I will be with you whereever you go.” Together Jim and I agreed God’s leading in both of our lives.
So when life gets tough what will motivate us through the thick and thin? It has and I hope it will continue to be, the Gospel, God, Jesus HIMSELF who promised He will be with us whereever we go so His name can be proclaimed through us.
As I read Ann Judson’s story and others like her I am inspired by their willingness to go even when it might be against much cultural opposition. They took the Great Commission seriously, heeding the Call to go. God used them to change much of what we know of missions today. Their legacy lives on in our hearts and many have been called out. Called out because they were willing to give their life to serve God in ways that couldn’t have been easy, for the sake of the Gospel. Their calling was definitely motivated by something beyond themselves.
After reading this what is God saying to you…?
PERSONAL THOUGHTS: What are your thoughts after reading this blog? How important do you think it is for a woman to have a call on their lives, on mission for God? What might be your story that lead you or is leading you to heed the “call” to mission even against cultural opposition? Would love to hear any part of your thoughts or story…..
From One Pilgrim to another together on the journey,
“Consider how you may spur one another on towards love and good deeds….. encouraging one another–and all the more as you see the Day approaching.” Hebrews 10:24-25 (NIV)
“Be imitators of me, as I am of Christ” (I Corinthians 11:1)
In our calling to make disciples we are not to do it alone. Yet, with social media and all kinds of technology, we still often find ourselves feeling isolated. There are times to retreat but more often than not, we are in danger of giving up too early. What can we learn from others who run well and are worthy of imitating so we can stick it out?
Gaining Perspective
I often find courage and inspiration to go forward by reading testimonies of women in the Bible, historical women missionaries, and/or godly women of today. (Suggested readings below)
The witness of these women inspire me and often give me needed perspective and much hope for my call in Mission. Their stories challenge me to stick out my calling even in the toughes of seasons.
What do we know about historical women living during the 19 century? What can we learn from them as they left the shores of America to cross cultures for the sake of the Gospel? Many left knowing there would be persecution and political turmoil, possible sex discrimination, loneliness, team dissensions, homesickness, and in some places child rearing in malaria-infested regions. (Tucker, p. 11-12)
They left family and their places to fulfill their callings. These women, due to lack of modern medicine, technology and better transportation often experienced premature death of self and/or children, going to places of service never to come back again. Taking care of their families in the midst of their ministry calling’s must not have been easy, yet they went. They stuck it out. We have much to learn from them.
We, here in the western world have many opportunities as women, to get education, have our own career and for the most part have our own identities. Yet, for half the world, education and technology, especially for women, still remains elusive if not available at all. (“Half the Sky”).
We do not have to face some of the same fears that the modern missionary of the 19 century faced yet transitioning to another place for a woman is a big change nonetheless. We have our own set of fears. I am sure many of you can vouch for this!
In our call to go and serve with another people, we are making many choices. We will leave behind friends, family, and neighborhoods that have come dear to us. We will leave behind our own culture, our role(s), many comforts we have come to enjoy, and possibly our own language.
In some places we are still choosing to face various tropical diseases foreign to us in spite of modern medicine. There may be also persecutions encountered due to our faith in Jesus. Often going forward into the unknown. Yet, we are still asked just like the missionary woman in history, to live out our faith where God has assigned us.
Where has God assigned you? What are you facing?
What can we learn from these women to help us gain perspective going forward and bring hope for what we are doing now?
If God can use these women as they encountered all kinds of situations, choosing often the unknown to follow Jesus, is it not possible that He could use you and me too?
Hebrews 10:24, 25, tells us to “…let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, …encouraging one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching.”
Aligning ourselves with God (Study on Mary and Martha)
One way we can gain strength and consider how to spur our hearts on is by reading historical and biblical biographical accounts or spending time with other godly women; asking God to align our thoughts of reality up with His perspective.
As a Life Coach myself, I find great value gleaning from another wise woman who can coach me at certain seasons of life. This exposure brings clarity and hope when I am feeling stuck.
COUNTING THE COST
In the Old Testament and on down through history, we read and hear about many women who went against the culture of their day for the cause of the Gospel. God used them greatly because of their courage to trust Him with their lives.
One of many books written on Ann Judson
Ann Judson, wife of Adoniram Judson, was one of the first missionary wives to go out from America in the early 1800’s. I perceive her as one of my mentors. Even though she no longer lives, her legacy and testimony lives on.
During the time of Ann Judson, we read about the start of one great ministry opportunities for women in ministry. It was called the “Modern Missionary Movement era”. Women saw mission service as a great avenue to serve in God’s Kingom work. Women knew moving to another place would be difficult yet they still chose to go. God was doing a new thing and these women wanted to be a part of it.
What did it cost them to leave everything and go cross-culturally to do mission work?
For Ann it cost her, her life. Yet Ann Judson, contributed to pioneer missions and education to both men and women. She changed a culture through her writings. She stirred the church back home to send out more workers. Her letters made people aware of the needs in Burma which mobilized them to want to go. She took in orphan children so they wouldn’t be sold into slavery and fought against it.
Women of the Modern Mission Movement Era
She is really known for keeping her husband alive in jail during the war between the Burmese and the British, in order for him to continue to complete the already 14 year project of translating the bible for the first time into the Burmese language for the people to read. She traveled from jail to jail as her husband would be moved and brought him extra food and water to keep him alive as she lived in nearby horrible places herself. All this cost her, her health and evidently death.
Just like these great women of the past, we must all count the cost of going. At least we should! There are risk factors involved for sure. In counting the cost we need to check out “what are our motives for going?” or “why do we do what we do”? This is what will sustain us during the challenging times when they come and they will. Will we quit or will we stick it out?
So more importantly “WHOM”are we doing it for? We need to go back to that calling, God Himself.
REMEMBER THE SCRIPTURE
Scripture is full of “remembers”. All through the Old testament God reminds His people not to forget God.
It is important we take time to remember, align ourselves with God, and then gain hope for the future.
What God did do through the lives of men and women throughout history, even through us, in the past, He can do through us now and in the future. We read stories like Ruth and Esther where we see God at work even in the midst of their pain and/or challenages of daily decisions.
About the ‘Book of Ruth” in Scripture by Carolyn Custis James
God says in Hebrew 13: “He is the same yesterday, today and tomorrow. He will never leave us or forsake us.”
David said in Psalm 37:25 “Even when I was young, and now that I am old, God has never forgotten me. I have never seen His children begging for bread”.
We can have confidence in God to be who He says He is. Take time to “remember”.
The heart and staying power of these women’s motivation in the face of much opposition was, the Gospel and their calling, “remembering God”.
The work is not finished. God is still calling out His workwomen. Like others, I want to continue to “rememberGOD” and what He is doing in the world. I want to be about being a part of His Gospel, counting the cost, reaching those that have not heard. Being inspired to follow the example of those such as Ruth, Esther, Mary, Martha, Anne Judson, Carolyn Custis James and many others, who have gone before, setting the standard high, have done. How about you?
1“Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, 2 looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God.” http://esv.to/Heb12.1-2
We are not alone!
After reading this blog article how is God speaking to you?…… Would love to hear your thoughts.
PERSONAL REFLECTION: How did God lead you to this assignment? What things did you not account for before you left or you did but still find it hard? What blessings do you see in making this decision? What woman inspires you to have courage to go forward? Explain…. If no woman is around are there any biographical accounts you can find and start reading. How about a Life Coach? Anythoughts?
From One Pilgrim to another together on the journey,
“Consider how you may spur one another on towards love and good deeds….. encouraging one another–and all the more as you see the Day approaching.” Hebrews 10:24-25 (NIV)
Kristof, Nicholas D. and Sheryl WuDunn. “Half the Sky”
Robert, Dana L. , “American Women in Mission”
Deen, Edith, “Great Women of the Christian Faith.”
James, Carolyn Custis. “The Gospel of Ruth”
Note: Author of this blog article does not make any money off of these books or adhear to all that is written in each book. Only that they are great recommended resources.
“The steps of a man are established by the LORD when he delights in his way; though he falls, he shall not be cast headlong, for the LORD upholds his hand”. I have been young, and now am old, yet I have not seen the righteous forsaken…”
Is the Call to Mission still binding even in significant times of change?
Jim and I were called many years ago in college to go to the Philippines. We spent 13 years overseas then God reassigned us back to the USA.
When we first came back to the States this transition seemed like an intrusion to our original calling. We found ourselves in another stage of life. God, how do we live out our calling in this season of life and in this new place? Are we still called to mission even though now we live in “America”?
Today, we continue to give our hearts to the mission of God, to the next generation in leadership development, whether, Majority World Leaders, and/or young leaders in ministry and mission, so that the 2.9 billion Gospel-less peoples who have not had the chance to hear, will. The calling and passion by God has not changed only the places have expanded and specifically collaborating with others to see the commission realized.
Part of that calling responsibility has always been to our family as well. We find ourselves now in the season of “The Sandwich Generation” between aging parents and grandkids. These various seasons and/or stages of life in the midst of the calling is not always easy to navigate. His steps are not always clear. But His call remains a sure marker for our lives.
WHEN SEASON’S OF CHANGE ARRIVE UNANNOUNCED
We received word today from a couple serving overseas, that they just had a miscarriage. The baby was stillborn. Of course, it came in the middle of a busy time of personal transition but yet the fruitful season of ministry. (Not easy!) Where does one land their emotions when this happens? (more…)
